The reason I drink

My mom and dad divorced when I was 7 and have not been able to sit in the same room without fighting. They spent more money on lawyer fees then the price of this house...money well spent I am sure.

There is no need for the world's smallest violin for my sake, I understand my f'ed up family. I am use to the crazy, it makes me feel better about my crazy.

So, I was at my nephews birthday party and my sister never mentioned to my dad that my mom would be there. I always warn the other because the crazy ensues when the two are around. However, my sister does not care about anyone but herself so it was fine for her to have the two together.

My parents are rarely in the same room without a judge present. This time there was not a judge, but my great aunt, Sister Mary Ann was there. So I guess someone holy has to be around for them.

My family has a big glaring issue to deal with: my sister is getting a divorce after being married for only 6 months because both were unfaithful. Instead of dealing with the big issue, they decided to focus on me buying a house. To make matters even better, my dad thought it would be fun if he egged my mom on.

So my mom knew about the red trim house and was completely focused on that. She HAD to see it. I kept telling her I didn't want that house because of the octopus furnace, but she didn't care. They even got the nun involved! I'm glad I could divert the attention.