Not in a million years!

My family is crazy. I am ok with that because it makes my crazyness seem less. In the world of crazy, there is someone else that is crazy, just less then the rest of the family. That is my loving and caring aunt, ShellyBelly. She is probably one of the only people that actually reads this blog so I figured I would send her a shout out. She is going to give me some plants from her garden so I can plant them. I just hope this time I don't kill them. The last two lasted for a while, but there is not enough light in my apt so they died. But don't tell her, she might get mad at me.

And just because she thought it was funny that I posted pictures of my mom and dad, her is ShellyBelly.

Baby oh baby

I was born and raised in the same house. My parent bought it before I was born and due to the divorce agreement, they had to sell it when I turned 18. It was the only house I ever knew. As I mentioned before, my sister is getting a divorce after only a few months of marriage. They both probably cheated on each other. They now have a house and a kid to deal with.

When my sister bought the house I knew there was no way they would be able to pay for it. Her husband makes around 35K a year and my sister has a problem with keeping a job for over six months. I guess employers don't like when their employees lie about their background. Not to mention Tim has another child he has to pay for.

When I was about 6, my mom worked at Target during the nights. She was saving up for a baby grand piano. She always wanted one and dreamed of teaching piano classes. After a year she saved enough money and purchased one. It was a beautiful Mahogany baby grand that was used to play for Garrison Keillor.

When we moved the piano went into storage. My sister tried to sell it, but it never worked. When she bought the house, the piano went with her. Now that she is moving, I may get it!

So my sister called me to see if I wanted anything from her house for my new one. I mentioned the piano and she said that it was "Padriug's toy". WTF! What type of kid gets a Mahogany baby grand piano for a toy? She said I could pay for it to be moved, but when she finds a new house, she gets it back.

After calling my mom, I knew there was something up. She said that I could have it after I moved in, but Theresa would get it back in time. I even offered to buy it and my mom said I don't have to. My mom refusing money is a first!

I will have a back yard!

Right now my back yard is a parking lot. I do not go out there after dark due to the fear of being killed. Now I will have a back yard. It is not all too big, but big enough to have a table and chairs for BBQ's. And since it is my yard, it can be all soy meat. Ha ha! Yeppi! New house

I peed a little

Monday was my inspection (yes, I am behind on posting). I brought my dad because the place has issues with electrical work. As we pull up, I notice the house looks very different then I remember. The whole front wall was gone. Gone diddy gone gone. I freaked! Saturday night was a major rain storm and distroyed Hugo MN.

In a daze, I walk up to my inspector. He was on the phone. All I heard was "yes, she just got here. I will let her know". My heart sunk. I was convinced that the wall fell and it was going to be something I had to fix. There was no way I could afford that so I would have to pass on the house.

The housing gods were smiling upon me. I guess the city of MPLS demanded that the bank replace the front wall before they sold it to me. I nearly peed in excitment! The retaining wall was horrible and would have had to be replace. The new wall would cost at least 10K because it is very long.

I was also going to have to wait to plant in the front because it was so unstable. Now I can plant an entire herb garden!

Reasons I hate this place - Sunday night

Dustin and I went to a friends for a BBQ. It was great because Ben is a contractor and his wife, Kari, is very handy. They both gave me a lot of great ideas. I totally am going to have a green house! Ben and Kari are the two in the picture that are not Dustin and I.

After Holly and I went for another walk. We met in the middle. The goal was to find a park with good swings. I believe we are swingers at heart. The sad realization is that parks are no longer being built with swings. We visited on park and the only two swings were in much need of some WD40. The next was a new park without any swings! What kind of fucked up park does not have swings.

We were heading home when we found Mecca. A playground with 4 swings. Sure, there were two people having a date, but we wanted to swing.

"I once new a girl who swung so high that she went all the way around" I said.

"No, you lie!" says Holly.

"No, it's true. But you don't know her. She lives in a different town now."

I am really going to miss Holly and our swinging ways.

Reasons I hate this place - Sunday

I slept very little because of the party. I fell a sleep at about 3:00 and woke up many times. To drowned out the noise, I slept with the TV on. That was my first mistake.

It was 5 am, only two hours after I fell asleep. If you are single, watching tv before 8 am on a weekend is a bad thing. I woke up to this show called Dragon. It is about a Dragon who lives in a town with other animals. Of course they all are named after what they are. The cat is Cat, the ostrich is Ostrich and so on.

I was so disturbed my this children's tv program. The first half was on how Dragon got a tire stuck to his tail. They attempted to get the tire off of Dragon's butt. Ostrich had the great idea to peck the tire off of his ass. This worked until he had to stop because the Dragon was ticklish. What the FUCK! What type of phedophile wrote that script? The Dragon is ticklish when some one pecks at his butt?

Reasons I hate this place - Saturday

Saturday: after the nice morning at the bank, I went for a walk with Holly. It is one of the few things I am going to miss about the neighborhood. Holly lives 7 blocks away and we can walk back and forth. I fear that when I move I will not see her as much.

However, the rest of the night was different. The people downstairs decided to have a party. They left the front door open so I feared that someone was going to break in to my apt. The thing about it is, the safety in this crap-shack is not good. The front code has not changed in years and my lock is very old. I found a way to ridge my apt so if someone got in the door and came to my bedroom they would make a lot of noise. I slept with pepper spray and a knife under my pillow. Yes, I did cut my arm.