"Homer, save me!"

Another benefit from my accident is the time I have spent with my father, Patricia (he told me I could call him what every I wanted, so I picked Patricia).

Patricia came over to fix my front stairs, which have looked confused since I bought the place. Thankfully, my dad has devoted one of his days to helping me with the house and the stairs were first on his list.

I found a lot of gumby Simpson toys at Goodwill so I gave him the 'Special Homer' because it was Homer working in the Spring Field Nuclear Power Plant. I really just wanted to give my dad 'special homer'.

So we jacked the stairs up so they would no longer hurt me (I fell on them earlier in the summer). All the time Patricia kept saying, "give me strength, special Homer."

Things I shouldn't be doing

I moved into my craft room and made the master bedroom into my craft room for more room. More space didn't change much. The place is still a disaster. The fact that I really couldn't sew in my craft room didn't stop me from buying a new, improved dress form for more design projects. However, space did. I ended up having to move my tools out to the living room and work on this dress. I think it turned out kind of ok after some tweaking and tailoring. The two lessons I learned was I need to stand up more and my new dress form comes with a hem gauge, but it doesn't tell you how short it will be.

Unexpected yard work

My yard has gone to hell. Really, just gone to hell. My yard is sitting down there with Hitler, Satan and Barney talking about the weather. The reason: I can't spend a lot of time outside without making my scar even more noticeable. This has lead to my co-workers telling people I am a vampire (when asked, it is not a new development. Rather, it happened about 300 years ago, so I guess it is a new development in vampire years).

I woke up super early to people working outside. I was pissed and going to egg the neighbor responsible. However, I was lazy so I just got ready for work. Later that day, Holly texted me to tell me CenterPoint came to the door, asking to come in. They were working on the gas line and didn't bother to tell me before hand. Holly told them the owner was at work and she was the roommate.

I called and called and called, but didn't get an answer. The next day I stayed home for a while to see if they would come. They did not. Finally I got a hold of the foreman’s number and told him I was the owner and wanted to know what was going on. He called back and said he couldn't give me any information until he could talk to the owner. He said, "I would be happy to talk to him, but he needs to call me." That is when I reminded him that I was the owner and he got all flustered. Oh memories. Memories of buying the house and all the people telling me they could wait until my husband showed up.

It turned out my address just turned up as being next on the block for new pipes. They were old and needed to be replaced.

Tile job

My back hall was is done, but it might be the most expensive tile job in the history of tile jobs due to the medical bills. It started off as a simple project that turned into something so much more.

I started using tile I bought for the bathroom. My dad talked me out of putting tile down because we would probably have to gut the entire room before I sell the place. I measured and had enough for the space. However, I did not account for me getting mad and going 'smashy smashy' when I could not get a cut right.

The first attempt was a total fail. I ran out of tile and they no longer carried it at Home Depot. I tried to match it, but the difference in color would kill me, even though it is in the closet.

Attempt two started off good. I bought new tile that I liked and there was a large stock at Menards (I got mad at Home Depot. They pay their employees less and Menards offers health insurance to all full-time employees.) Then I ran into the corners that needed a special cut. The cutting thingy (technical term) I bought sucked and I was running into the same 'smashy smashy' problem from before.

To avoid going back to the hospital from this project, I called my mom and she brought over all her tools. It made the project so much easier, but she also brought over a bottle of booze so we got very little done. One more weekend of work and I was finished. It looks so pretty and I literally put my blood, sweat and tears into it.

Day one

Growing up, I remember my Aunt Shelly being a person of authority. She would yell at me for simple things like trying to ride her Doberman like a horse. Crazy, I know.

The first thing we had to do was weed. So much weeding. The first day consisted of weeding a small spot and planting two large plants. That was easy. Then we had a day off and I was suppose to weed the large wall. I worked for about an hour and then went to the beach. Shelly was not very happy with me after that, and she had every right.

Funny story: while we were weeding, the neighbor had a guest in town. He was a very attractive hippy-man with bright blue eyes. He stopped by to let us know the weeds we were pulling actually were a plant he uses for hippy-style salads. However, he did not help, he just grazed on the 'weed'.

In the end, the part of the wall looks amazing. I could not have done it without the help of my super fantastic aunt. The problem is, I kind of hate her because she looks a billion times better than me, yet is a few years older. Grrr.

Opps! Down I go

A little over a month ago, I was heading out the back door with crap in my hands. Holly was sitting on the stairs and the light was burnt out. I turned around to keep Dandy from getting out, but when I turned back around, my flip-flop slipped and I fell off the stair and down I went.

Everything would have been just fine, if days earlier I wasn't tiling the back hall way. I had a container full of cement that dried and was too lazy to get up and toss it in the garbage. I toss it out the back door. Bad, bad idea. That is what I landed on...

Right when I fell I knew I as in trouble. (The picture is of what I fell on). I could tell my lip was cut, but I didn't know the extent. Fast forwarded to the emergency room. They thought they could just sew it up right there and everything would be fine. Nope. It was far too extensive and I had to have surgery.

Not realizing how bad it really was, I kept asking if I would be out in time to see Rod Stewart. I don't like him, but I got free tickets and my aunt wanted to go. The nurse just laughed and fed me more morphine. I laughed too.

After over 14 hours of sitting there with my face split open, I went in to surgery. Within an hour (I think) they put over 200 stitches in my face.

It wasn't all bad, I got to stay with my dad for a few days. He waited on me hand and foot while we came up with scenarios to tell people. We had a lot of fun watching PBS and just talking. After only 10 days I was able to return to work with my new scar and teeth (I damaged two of them).

A short list of the really funny things that happened:
-My dad telling me to quit ultimate fighting in a crowed elevator
-Calling my co-workers out for calling me Nettenstein in a group meeting, even though I was the one that came up with the name
-Seeing people's look when I tell them I 'broke my face'
-Catching up on 90's cult movies

All in all, it sucked and hurt a lot, but it could have been worse. That is why I haven't updated my blog, cause I know the two readers (Shelly and Margi) are concerned.

Da yard

My mom was suppose to do the front retaining wall as my 'house warming present'. That didn't happen. Then Holly was going to take it over, but nearly 200 feet of weeds and unsettled soil hindered her. However, the wall needed to be done. Knowing it would take a few years for the plants to add curb appeal, I had to start this year.

This lead me to think: who do I know that knows enough about plants, but can keep me in line. Auntie Shelly! Shelly has an amazing way of keeping me in line. She has this strange thing where she makes me clean up after a project is over. I fight, but in the end, I feel a lot better.

It was a big task, but Shelly had a couple days off. This was the start: